Karaoke Party
by KukaruiValentine
Summary: Going under the crazy caffeine-filled Beth's knife for a revision... and chapters too! Keep your eyes peeled for it coming SOON!
1. Default Chapter

Karaoke Party

Chapter One: Final Fantasy Rhapsody

_Disclaimer: Okay, I do not own Final Fantasy VII Characters or any of the songs that they sing here, I own only Kukarui, Yuri (well, I'm borrowing her...) Danielle, (really borrowing her too) and Beth, of course._

_What do you get when you throw the entire cast of Final Fantasy VII, enemies, some clever Original Characters, lots and lots of beer and a karaoke machine in a large blender and hit 'frappe'? Let's find out as the Turks, Avalanche members and other Final Fantasy VII favorites (and those you love to hate) sing along to the music parodies of Madonna, Weird Al, Backstreet Boys, Dixie Chicks, Korn, Gorillaz and many, many others._

_We now join the Karaoke Party, already in progress... (they see who gets to go first by the names the pull out of the hat) Reno is in charge of the music and everyone judges everyone else._

Yuffie: pulling a slip of paper out of a hat to see who goes first Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen!

Beth: Who sings it?

Yuffie: Let's see, it says Final Fantasy VII heros and Beth, Kukarui and Danielle...

Beth: gee, excluded from just the Final Fantasy VII part...

Kukarui: Me too!

Danielle: Well, its not as if we WERE really in the game, were we?

Reno: turns on the music Get singing!

The group of Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Cid, Barret, Nanaki, Yuffie, Cait Sith, and Vincent, along with Beth, Danielle and Yuri, stand on the small stage as the music begins

Beth: clears throat, then starts singing Is this the real life?

Tifa: Is this just Final Fantasy?

Barret: Caught in a landslide

Cid: No escape from reality

Kukarui: Open your eyes

Nanaki: Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Danielle: harmonizes seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Vincent: I'm just a poor boy,

Beth, Tifa and Aeris: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh

Vincent: I need no sympathy!

Beth: Because I'm easy come, easy go

Yuffie and Tifa: Ahhhhh

Cait Sith: A little high, little low

Yuffie: Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Instramental break

Beth: Mama! just killed a man

Cloud: Put my sword against his head, slashed it foreward, now he's dead...

Cid: Mama, life had just begun

Cait Sith: But now I've gone and thrown it all away

Beth: Mama,

Yuri: Oooohhhhhhhhhh

Beth: eyes Yuri weirdly

Cloud: Didn't mean to make you cry

Nanaki: If I'm not back again this time tomorrow

Danielle: Carry onnnnnnnnn, carry onnnnnnn, as if nothing really matters

Instrumental

Yuffie: singing solo Too lateeeeeeee,

my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body's aching all the timeeeeeeee

Goodbye everybody

I've got to goooooooo

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mamaaaaaaaaaaa,

ooohhhhhhhh

All others: anyway the wind blows

Sephiroth:standing up in the audience I don't want to die

Vincent: singing I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!

Beth: whispers to Areis That was made for him to sing

Aeris: nods

Music changes

Cid: I see a little silhouetto of a man

Beth, Vincent, Yuffie, Yuri, Danielle and Nanaki: Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango

Barret: Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me

Tifa: Gallileo,

Nanaki: Gallileo,

Cloud: Gallileo,

Beth: Gallileo,

Vincent: Gallileo

Kukarui: Figaro

Nanaki: - magnifico

Aeris, Tifa and Beth: But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me

Barret, Cid and Vincent: He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Yuri and Danielle: Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Beth and Cloud: Easy come easy go - will you let me go

Aeris, Tifa, Yuri, Danielle and Vincent: Bismillah! No - we will not let you go

Cid: - let him go

Tifa, Aeris, Yuri, Beth and Vincent : Bismillah! We will not let you go -

Cid and Nanaki: let him go

Beth, Kukarui, Yuri and Barret: Bismillah! We will not let you go

Cloud: - let me go

Cid, Barret, Vincent, Nanaki and Danielle: Will not let you go

Cloud: - let me go

Yuri: Never!

Cid, Barret, Kukarui, Nanaki and Yuri: Never let you go

Vincent: - let me go

Beth: Never let me go

Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Barret, Yuffife, Nanaki, Vincent, Cait Sith, Cid, Beth, Danielle, Yuri, Kukarui and Danielle: - ooo No, no, no, no, no, no, no -

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go

Cid and Barret: Beelzebub has a devil put aside

Beth: high voice for meeeeeeeeeeeeee

Aeris: higher voice for meeeeeeeeeeeee

Vincent: highest voice for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

All stop and look at Vincent, who is banging his head to the music, all shrug and join him...

The rest of the crowd laughs at the song.

Cid: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eyeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Barret: So you think you can love me and leave me to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Cloud, Nanaki and Kukarui: Oh baby - can't do this to me baby-aaaaaaaaaaaaa

Danielle: Just gotta get out

Yuri: just gotta get right outta here

Tifa: Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Beth: Nothing really matters

Areis: Anyone can see

Beth and Tifa: sweetly Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me

Yuffie: Anyway the wind blows... Nothing really matters... to meeeeee...

Yuffie: ... gasping for breath out of laughter


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: 'Who let the dog-like creatures out?"

Yuffie: pulls out another slip of paper out of the hat, and holds it up Kukarui and Nanaki! They are doing a duet of "Who let the dogs out!"

Nanaki: walks over and grabs a slit of paper Who let the dogs out?

Tifa and Yuffie giggle.

Kukarui: You have GOT to be kiddin' me!

Nanaki: Humans are so species-est...Fine... start the music...

Kukarui: We will do fine, dear...

Reno: between the snickering, starts the next song

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof sticks tongue out and gasps for air woof, woof, woof, woof!

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: When the party was nice, the party was jumpin'

Kukarui: Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo

Nanaki: And everybody havin' a ball

Kukarui: Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo

Nanaki: I tell the fellas "...start the name callin'..."

Kukarui: Yippie Yi Yo

Nanaki: And the girls report to the call

The poor dog show down

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Nanaki and Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Nanaki and Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Nanaki and Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast

She really want to skip town

Get back off me, beast off me

Get back you flea infested monger

Instrumental Chorus

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof! gasps again

Nanaki: I'm gonna tell

Kukarui: Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo

Nanaki: To any girls calling them canine

Kukarui: Yippie, Yi, Yo

Nanaki: Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!"

Kukarui: Yippie Yi, Yo

Nanaki: You fetch a women in front and her mans behind

Kukarui: Yippie, Yi, Yo... WHAT?

Nanaki: Her bone runs out now

Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone

All dogy hold ya' bone,

all doggy hold it

A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone

All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it

Nanaki: Wait for y'all my dogs,

the party is on I gotta get my girl

I got my mind on

Do you see the rays comin' from my eye

What could you be friend

that Benji man that's breakin' them down?

Me and My white short shorts

And I can't seek a lot,

any canine will do I'm figurin'

that's why they call me faithful

'Cause I'm the man of the land

When they see me they do...ah-ooooo

Kukarui: howl

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof

Nanaki: Who let the dogs out

Kukarui: woof, woof, woof, woof ... pants as the music ends "IF I HAVE TO BARK ANYMORE!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Vince just wants to have fun!

Beth: Next up... is Vincent!

Vincent: looks at Beth

Tifa: Giggles

Yuri: sniffs a beer and gags, throwing it to the side.

Reno: grabs the beer

Beth: holds up the hat Here you go... sweetie!

Vincent: takes a piece of paper, then looks at the paper Girls just wanna have fun?

Nobody can hold their laughter

Rude: falls off of his chair laughing

Vincent: grabs items from the box and walks behind a door INTRO!

Beth: sighs Start the music! music starts INTRODUCING! VINCENT SINGING GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!

Vincent: whispers to Beth It's now Vincent-ta!

Beth: Huh? Oh well... it's VINCENT-TA!

Danielle: spits her mouthfull of beer all over Tseng

Vincent: comes walking out in balloons in a bra, a small girlie top, a wig, high heels, a short skirt over his pants and a fake microphone Ah- hem...

Everyone laughs

Elena: Oh my!

Rude: points

Reno: laughing

Marlene: giggling

Barret: holding Marlene, laughting

Vincent in his highest voice, sounds more like he just got nailed in the balls I come home in the morning light

My mother says when you're gonna live your life right

Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate onesssssssssss

And girls they want to have fun-unnnnn he shakes his fingers at the crowd

Oh girls just want to have fun

The phone rings in the middle of the night

My father yells what you're gonna do with your life

Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one

But girls they want to have fun-un

Oh girls just want to have..

That's all they really want-aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-nt

Some fun-uuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

When the working day is done

Oh Girls.. they want to have fun he plays with his balloons

Oh girls just want to have fun twirls around showing off a pair of frilly underwear.

Beth: looking at Tifa Those look familar...

Vincent: still singing Some boys take a beautiful girl

And hide her away from the rest of the world

I want to be the one to walk in the sun!

Oh girls they want to have fun

Oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want

Some fun-uuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn

When the working day is done

Oh girls.. they want to have fun

Oooh girls just want to have fun,

They just want to...

They just want to...

They just want to have fun..

.When the working day is done..

When the working day is done..

Ohh girls just want to..

.Girls just want to have fun...

They just wanna have fun!

Everyone claps for him

Vincent: bows thank you... balloons fall out

Barret and Cid: roaring with laughter

Reno: laughs harder than before

Rufus: laughs

Hojo: sitting over in the corner talking to Chocobo Billy


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Twenty Four: Don da Pimp

Don Corneo: I want to sing! walking in

Beth: FINE! I have just the song for you!

Reno: starts to fall asleep on play button parody... of... Puddle...of... mudd, snore

Beth: Yuffie, you wake her up!

Yuffie: With pleasure!

Don: Can you pimp it all away

Can you pimp it all away

Don's got a big fat face

Come on and eat with me again

Can you pimp it all away

Can you pimp it all away

Don's got a big fat face

Everything's so corny

And everyone's so thin

And everybody's empty

And everything just hollow within

I cannot live without you

I really need my food

I need to be a pimp dog

But I'm too fat and crude!

You could be my Aps

You could be my beast

You know that I'll just slam you

And shield you from the feast

I wonder what your thinking

Imagine what you eat

There's rats in them thar sewers

With stinky little feet!

Everyone is farting

There's no one left that's clean

To make up all the ponies

I seems like all a dream

I think I'm getting fat

I cannot move at all

I think I need room service

I crumple and I roll

But you could be my helper

You could be friend

You know that I will shun you

You can't win in the end!

I wonder what your hair is

I wonder if it's gel

It looks like cotton candy

Or chocolate caramel

Nobody told me you were male

Nobody told me you were mean

Nobody told me you had swords!

Wanna have some chocolate cake?

Nobody told me you were a rebel!

Nobody knew that there's stuff on your head

Everybody told you what to say!

Showed you a good time today!

Come on and eat with me again

That's cruel all again

That's cruel all again

Come on and eat with me again

That's cruel all again

Come on and eat with me again

That's cruel, yeah

Come eat again...

Yuffie: giggling That's about CLOUD!

Cloud: Is not!

Beth: thank you... I think...

Don: That is SO friggin' gay! Storms out

Beth: fine, be that way, NEXT!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Marlene is a little chocobo!

Marlene: tapping on Beth's shoulder Can I sing one?

Beth: Sure, what do you know?

Marlene: I know "I'm a little chocobo!"

Chocobo Billy: I will sing it with you Marlene!

Marlene: Okay!

Cloud: How does Billy know "I'm a little Chocobo'?

Yuri: Do we wanna know?

Billy and Marlene: together, dancing like "I'm a little teapot

I'm a little chocobo doing duck wings

Short and stout, they squat

Here is my beak, they make a beak with their hands

and here is my tail feathers... they make tail feathers with their hands

When you feed me a nut, act like they are eating

an egg pops out!

Cus I'm a little chocobo, doing duck wings

Short and stout they squat Wark! Wark!

Everyone thinks that it is cute, and they all ooh and ahh and say how cute little Marlene is.

Billy: bows to Marlene

Marlene: giggles

Beth: Very good I give her ten points

Yuffie: Ten

Aeris: Ten!

Tifa: Ten!

Marlene: I GET ALL THE POINTS!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Cid is a Macho Man!

Cid: My turn!

Reno: starts the music

Cid: a-hem... Body...wanna feel my body? Starts to dirty dance

Reno: had just started to sip his beer, now spits it all over Elena

Elena: chokes on her own beer

Cid: Body...such a thrill my body

Body...wanna touch my body?

Body...it́s too much my body

Check it out my body body.

Dońt you doubt my body body.

talkiń bout my body body

check it out my body

Every man wants to be a macho macho man

to have the kind of body always in demand

Jogging in the mornings go man go

works out in the health spa muscles glow

You can best believe that hés a macho man

ready to get down with, anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Macho, macho man!

Íve got to be, a macho man Macho, macho man

Íve got to be a macho! Ow! grabs his groin

Beth: gags

Danielle: comes back in to see Cid grab himself

Shera: hollars and holds up a dollar

Danielle: pushes Shera aside and holds up five

Cid: Macho, macho man

Íve got to be, a macho man Macho, macho man

Íve got to be a macho!

Body, its so hot, my body,

Body, love to pop my body,

Body, love to please my body,

Body, dońt you tease my body,

Body, yoúll adore my body,

Body, come explore my body,

Body, made by God, my body,

Body, it́s so good, my body

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk

his western shirts and leather,

always look so boss

Funky with his body, hés a king call him Mister Eagle,

dig his chains

You can best believe that, hés a macho man

likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Reno: jumps up on the stage with Cid, starts to dance the YMCA...

Cid: pushes him off the stage

Reno: laughs Oops, wrong song... sits back down

Cid: Macho, macho man Íve got to be, a macho man

Macho, macho man Íve got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man

Íve got to be, a macho man

Macho, macho man

Íve got to be a macho! All Right!

Ugh! Macho..baby!

Body, body, body wanna feel my body,

Body, body, body gonna thrill my body,

Body, body, body dońtcha stop my body,

Body, body, body it́s so hot my body,

Every man ought to be a macho macho man,

To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,

Have their own life style and ideals,

Possess the strength and confidence, lifés a steal,

You can best believe that hés a macho man

Hés a special person in anybodýs land.

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Macho, macho ma-aaaaaaannnnnnnnnn

Íve got to be, a macho man

Macho, macho man Íve got to be a macho!

Dig the hair on my chest

rips off his shirt to show a few stray hairs on his otherwise boy-ish chest

Shera: wolf whistles, pushing Danielle off to one side

Danielle: shoves Shera, whistling at Cid

Rude: gags

Rufus: looks away

Cait Sith: hides against Reeve

Reeve: pets his mog It's alright, it's going to be alright...

Cid: Macho, macho man

see my big thick mustache?

Cid doesn't have a mustache

Íve got to be, a macho man Macho, macho man Íve got to be a macho!

Dig broad shoulders doesn't HAVE shoulders

Macho, macho man

dig my muscles! Shows his scrawny arm

Reno, Elena, Tseng, Rufus, Reeve, Hojo, Cloud, Aeris Cait Sith and Tifa: laugh

Danielle: pulling Shera's hair, drooling

Shera: standing on Danielle's face, drooling

Cid: ignoring the fighting women Íve got to be, a macho man Macho, macho man

Íve got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man Íve got to be, a macho man

Macho, macho man Íve got to be a macho! HEY!

The music stops and everyone applaudes.

Cid: thinks for a moment HEY! THIS SONG IS GAY!

Tifa: (sighs) Two...

Yuffie: One.

Aeris: IT was funny... four!

Cid: What the fuck! I HATE YOU ALL! stomps off, then walks back Besides you too... points at Danielle and Shera, who are in a scuffle


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Yuffie's in a Materia world.

Yuffie: Can I sing one now?

Beth: nods I know just the one too, Materia world!

Yuffie: grins Yeah!

Vincent: shakes his head At least she isn't singing a Yuffentine...

Beth: smirks OH yeah... she will sooooooooon!

Yuri: I hate Yuffentines...

Vincent: Oh no... not a Yuffentine, anything but that!

Reno: smiles and hits the play button

Yuffie: dances Some guys hate her, some guys don't even care

she just thinks they're gay.– LIKE CID!

Cid: from his room I AM NOT

Yuffie: giggles If they don't lead her to any profit

she'll just walk away.

They can beg and they can plead

but she'll still put up a fight, that's right.

'Cause the group with the cold hard stash

will always catch her sight, 'cause we are...

Living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

You know that we are living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

So now's her chance, she'll pretend to dance dance

and gain the trust she needs.

But if they can't gain more materia faster

then they'll be nothing for her greed.

While they try to catch that spy she'll just take all the materia away.

The only ploy to save her family is to wreak havoc on their day, 'cause they are...

Living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

You know that we are living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

Living in a materia world!

Beth, Aeris, Tifa and Yuri: chime in Materia!

Yuffie: Living in a materia world!

Living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

You know that we are living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

Living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

You know that we are living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world!

A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world!

Tifa may stay and Aeris may go

Aeris: Go where?

Tifa: cough Died cough

Yuffie: but Yuffie don't give a shit, you see.

Experience points have made her weak

so now she's living as a thief, 'cause she's...

.Living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

You know that we are living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

Living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

You know that we are living in a materia world and Yuffie's a materia girl.

A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world!

A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world!

A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world!

A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world...

Aeris: If only that weren't true!

Tifa: frowns thief...

Yuffie: Well? I give myself TEN points!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: Turks keep Workin' Workin' Workin'

Beth: Next up! The Turks have to do a song!

Yuffie: Uh... what are they singing?

Beth: Workin'

Rude: WHAT?

Beth: It's a parody of Rollin' by Limb Bizkit, I think...! Made for you guys!

Barret: still in his dress throw Reno, Rude, Rufus and Tseng up on the stage

Elena: moves onto the stage herself

Aeris: I am going to start the music now!

Beth: nods

Rufus: All right, Turks... Keep on workin, baby...

Reno: Ya know what time is...

Tseng: Throw yo weapons up

Elena: Ladies' and Gentlemen!

Scarlet: Stupid free Turks...

Keep on workin, baby...

Reno, Rude, Elena and Tseng:follow the motions of the song Guns in and Guns out... Shoot up and shoot down... Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Cry loud, and cry soft...

Tears in and Tears out... Blast'em! Blast'em! Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: What!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Elena: Come on!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: YEAH!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin...

Tseng: Now I know you'll be lovin' this cash, right here.

Rufus: Mr. President Rufus Shinra's right here! points to himself

Elena: Turks that are in the house, put your guns in the air!

Cause if you don't care, then we don't care.

Rude: One, two, three, make sure your gun's fixed.

Reno: Mixin' for the picks of the bullets that you'll mix!

So where the fuck you at?

Elena: Reno, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

And back the fuck up,

before we fuck your ass up!

Tseng: Throw yo guns up

Reno, Rude, Elena and Tseng: pulls their guns out and move them to the words Guns in and Guns out... Shoot up and shoot down...

Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Cry loud, and cry soft...

Tears in and Tears out...

Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: What!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: Come on!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: YEAH!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin...

Elena: You know, you wanna mess with the Turks?

Rude: Yeah!

Reno: You can't mess with the Turks!

Rude: Why!

Elena: Because we try to get it on.

Rude: When?

Tseng: Every day and every night!

Rude: Oh...

Elena: Ya see this platinum card right here? holds out her platinum card

Rude: Uh huh!

Reno: That's how were gettin' it all the time!

Rude: Wha!

Tseng: So you better get some better cash, and do some better crimes.

Reno: SHIT!

Elena: We've got our game set,

Rude: we won't complain yet! 24/7 always beggin' for our paychecks...

Reno: Old school SOLDIERS passin' out our hot shit, the damn shit, and bounce when we mosh pit...

Tseng: Throw yo cash up

Reno, Elena, Rude and Tseng: motions with their guns Guns in and Guns out...

Shoot up and shoot down...

Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Cry loud, and cry soft...

Tears in and Tears out...

Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: Come on!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: What!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: YEAH!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin...

Elena: Hey, Scarlet! Hey Rufus!

and the people that don't give a fuck!

Rude: All the Scientists! All the assholes!

And all the workers that think there in a hell hole!

Reno: Shot, Scarlet! Damn Rufus!

and the people workin' in the building!

Tseng: Hey, Hojo! Hey, Shinra!

And everybody over by the world!

Reno, Rufus, Rude, Elena and Tseng: Guns in and Guns out...

Shoot up and shoot down...

Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Cry loud, and cry soft...

Tears in and Tears out...

Blast'em! Blast'em!

Tseng: Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: YEAH!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: What!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: Come on!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin...

Rude: Guns in and Guns out...

Elena: Shoot up and shoot down...

Rude: Blast'em! Blast'em!

Elena: Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Reno: Cry loud, and cry soft...

Elena: Tears in and Tears out...

Reno: Blast'em! Blast'em!

Rude: Tell me how you're gonna work now!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude:What!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Elena: Come on!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin

Rude: YEAH!

Reno: Keep workin, workin, workin, workin...

Beth: laughing oh, that...was good...

Tifa: roaring with laughter Too GOOD!

Aeris: tears rolling down her checks Wonderful

Yuffie: snickering Too good!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Aeris and Tifa Cat-fight

Beth: Next up, I think that Tifa and Aeris should do a duet...

Cloud: I know just the one!

Beth: sighs Not that stupid "My real lady" Is it?

Cloud: YEP!

Reno: sits down, still laughing, starts the music

Tifa: May I have your attention please?

Aeris: May I have your attention please?

Tifa: Will Cloud's real lady please stand up?

Aeris: I repeat: Will Cloud's real lady please stand up?

Aeris & Tifa: We're gonna have a problem here...

Tifa: Y'all act like you've never seen a fine bar maid before,

Jaws all on the floor like me and Cloudy just burst through the door,

I started whoopin Aeris's ass worse than before,

We'll never get divorced about somethin' over furniture.

Cloud: AHHHH!

Aeris: It's the return of the

"Oh wait, no, wait, you're kidding...

She didn't just say what I think she did, did she?"

And my friend, Tifa said...

Nothing, lover-boy! She'll be dead soon and locked in my basement!

Tifa: Every other woman loves Cloudy-boy,

"Chigga, chigga, chigga, Cloud Strife,

I wanna hump with him, LOOK AT HIM

Walking around talking about you-know-what,

Staring at you-know-who!

Aeris: "Yeah, but he's so cute though..." sigh

Cloud: (sweatdrops

Tifa: Yeah, he's probably got a couple of screws up in his head loose,

But no worse that what's goin' on in everybody's bedroom

Everybody in the room: sweatdrops

Tifa: Sometimes I wanna just get in his bed and let loose,

But can't, but it's cool for Aeris to be hanging from a long noose!

Aeris: My staff is up her ass!

My staff is up her ass!

And if she's lucky, I'll probably pour her blood in a glass! FOR VINCENT!

Vincent: groans Not this shit again!...

Aeris: And that's the message that we give to my lover-boy

And if Cloud and I screw now, we'll both be screaming for joy!

Cloud: sweatdrops

Tifa: Of course, the whole world'll know about her work,

By the time the guys find out, Aeris will be givin' them free jerks!

We ain't nothin but mammals...

Of course, that's a different story when me and Cloud

screw in bed like animals...

Aeris: But if they can fuck like different kinds of animals,

Then there's no reason why Cloud and me can't elope.

Tifa: Grr...

Aeris: But if he feels I got, feels I got the antidote,

I'll take off my pantyhose, and sing my chorus,

AND IT GOES!

Tifa: I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady is just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Aeris: I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady is just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Tifa: Sephy doesn't gotta cuss in his speech to kill people,

Well, nobody cares, so fuck him, and fuck the world too!

Sephiroth: walks over to them, angry HEY!

Tifa: Ya think I give a damn about my friend, Aeris?

Half of the fans can't even stomach her,

Let alone love her.

Aeris: But Cloud, we won't be loud during our love making, right?

No, we'll do it the hard way tonight: with all of our might!

Cloud: sweatdrops

Aeris: Don't go with that fucking slut over there, dude!

We can screw under the covers in the nude... smiles seductively

Tifa: Why? So I can watch you guys have sex and curl up in fear?

I won't let that slut get you drunk with her beer!

Little bitch...trying to steal my only man...

I don't think so! I'm gonna foil your dirty plan!

Aeris: I used to hear rumors in the street that Tifa was a hooker.

People used to say that she was quite the good looker!

I'd never lie to you! You know it's true!

If you think it's a lie, then go talk to one of her clients named Lou!

Tifa: There's a million of woman that want to be with you,

cuss with you,

just don't give a fuck like you,

dress right for you,

walk, talk, and have sex with you.

It'll be tough, but in the end, you know I'll be with you!

Aeris: I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady is just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Tifa: I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady is just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Aeris: He's like a headtrip to listen to,

'cause he's only givin me things

Tifa jokes about with her friends inside her living room.

The only difference is that he has the balls to say in front of y'all,

He doesn't have to be false, or sugar-coat it at all!

Tifa: He just lies in the bed and spits it,

And whether you like to admit it,

He can stick it better than 90 percent of all of my fans out there!

Then you wonder how can kids eat up our video games like values!

Aeris: It's funny, 'cause at the rate we're goin when we're 30,

Cloud and me'll be the only ones in the Nursing Home fucking.

He'll be pinching my ass while he's jacking off and jerkin,

But with me around, he won't need a bag of viagra to stop workin'.

Cloud: sweatdrops

Tifa: Every other woman will be one of Cloud's ladies lurkin,

She could be workin' at Meteor King,

Super Sizing his Meteor Rings,

Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming,

"I don't give a fuck whether Cloud Strife's taken or not!

Yuffie: stands up, interferes So will his real lady please stand up,

And put either one or both hands up,

And be proud for taking a chance and be out of control,

ONE MORE TIME, AS LOUD AS YOU CAN, HOW DOES IT GO?

Aeris: very pissed I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady are just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Tifa: very pissed I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady is just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Yuffie: very proud I'm Cloud's lady

Yes, I'm his real lady

Every other fucking lady is just imitating,

So won't Cloud's real lady PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Cloud: very politely You're all my ladies,

Yes, You're all my real ladies,

Every other fucking lady is just imitating

So won't all of you real ladies PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP,

PLEASE STAND UP!

Aeris: Boo hoo... I guess Cloud's ladies are everywhere...

Tifa: Fuck it!

Yuffie: Let's all stand up! smiles

Tifa and Aeris sit down and scowl at Cloud.

Cloud: WHAT? Okay, maybe that song was a bad idea...

Tifa: Who do you like better?

Cloud: let's not start this...

Zak: Hey! Aeris! I thought you liked me!

Aeris: Uh... yes...

Beth: That was too funny...

Aeris: I don't think it was a good idea


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Yuffentine

Beth: Okay, who is next?

Yuffie: I want to sing another one!

Beth: Oooooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy... glances at Vincent You can sing a...

Vincent: NO! No! Not that!

Beth: finishing her sentence Yuffentine.

Yuffie: YES!

Vincent: NO!

Reno: I am starting the music now! hits play

Beth: hears the tune Hey! It's a Brady Bunch Parody!

Yuffie: happily Here's the story of a guy named Vinnie,

Who had long ago lost his girl Lucrecia.

For thirty years, he slept in a coffin,

But he didn't rot to bones.

Vincent: Shudders and hides behind the couch MAKE IT STOP MOMMY! cries

Yuffie: Here's the story of a girl named Yuffie.

Who was spoilt, rich and annoying to her dad.

Even still though, they lived together.

But that young princess felt so alone.

But fanfiction brought these characters together.

Now the boys and girls can smile all the time,

When they read stories, about this lovely couple,

Which is often called Yuffentine!

It's Yuffentine!

Yes, Yuffentine!

That's when there came the pairing of Yuffentine!

Daa! Daa! Daa! Daaaaaaaaa! Da! Da!

Vincent: looks as if he is about to be sick Yuck, I thought you said you didn't like Yuffentine's Beth?

Beth: I don't, it's just funny that people would say that you two are a good couple.

Yuffie: NEXT SONG!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Goodbye Earl?

Beth: looking at Kukarui and Aeris You two want to do a trio with me?

Kukarui: Sure!

Aeris: Why not? What is it?

Beth: Dixie Chicks "Goodbye Earl"

Aeris: I think I have heard that one before somewhere...

Beth: It's easy!

Aeris: Sure, why not?

Beth: Reno! Music!

Reno: starts the music

Beth: Maryann and Wanda were the best of friends,

all through their highschool days,

both members of the four H club,

both active in the FFA.

Kukarui: After graduation Maryann went out,

searching for a bright new world,

Wanda looked all around this town

and all she found was Earl.

Aeris: Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married,

That Wanda started getting abused,

She put on dark glasses and long sleeve blouses

and makeup to cover her bruises.

Kukarui: Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce,

she let the law take it from there,

But Earl walked right through that restraining order

and put her in intensive care...

Beth: Right away, Maryann flew in from Atlanta,

On a red eye midnight flight,

She held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan,

And it didn't take them long to decide,

All three girls: That Earl had to DIE.

Goodbye Earl!

Those black eyed peas?

They tasted alright to me, Earl...

You feeling weak?

Why don you lay down and sleep, Earl...

Ain't it dark?

Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?

Aeris: The cops came by to bring Earl in,

they searched the house high and low,

then they tipped their hats and said thank you ladies,

if you hear from him let us know.

Beth: Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer,

and summer faded into fall,

and it turns out he was a missing person

who nobody missed at all.

Kukarui: So the girls bought some land

at a roadside stand down by highway one oh nine,

they sell Tennessee Ham and strawberry jam,

and don't loose any sleep at night, 'cause...

All three girls: Earl had to die,

Goodbye Earl...

We need a break,

let's go out to the lake,

We'll pack a lunch,

and stuff you in the trunk,

Well, is that alright?

Good! Let's go for a ride,

Earl, HEY!

Aeris: Good going... that is fun!

Sephiroth: HEY! That was a song about murder!

Beth: Yeah, we all know you know something about that!

Sephiroth: You don't think I can sing?

Beth: No!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: Jenova Springer! Jenova!

Sephiroth: FINE! I'll show you I can sing... Reno, pop in er... I don't know...

Beth: Ha!

Sephiroth: I am going to sing Jenova Springer!

Beth: Huh?

Reno: flips through the different discs he has in the booth and pulls one out.

Sephiroth: This is Jenova Springer!

It's been one week since we got to see

Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry

Five days since they had the show

With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho,

Scarlet, Tifa and Aeris,

Tifa: I am a what?

Aeris: I AM NOT A CRACK HO!

Sephiroth: Three days since we heard the tale

About the guy named Cid who learned his woman, Shera, was a she-male

That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jenova Springer

Shera: Uh...no?

Cid: You're a WHAT?

Sephiroth: Holy cow, d'you see it last week?

Well, they had this one freak, Barret,

Barret: What the FUCK?

Sephiroth: Who sucker-punched his whole family

Do you recall when the brawl with Vincent

Vincent: WHAT?

Sephiroth: Became a total free-for-all

And Jenova's in the middle tryin' to be the referee

Hey, see the stripper with the implants, Tifa!

Tifa: WHAT?

Sephiroth: She likes to lap dance

And date the boyfriend, Cloud!

Tifa: grumbles

Sephiroth: Now here come's Jenova's next guest

Scarlet, And it's a slugfest

'Cause it's her trailer trash brother

Nymphomaniac Reeve is back on crack

It's like "When Animals Attack"

Scarlet: laughing

Reeve: That isn't funny! I just got off Crack... er...

Everyone laughs at that comment.

Sephiroth: They all exhibit reprehensible behavior

Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes

Step on their toes, that's how it goes

They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame

On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame

There was one guy, Cid, who I'm sure felt a little strange

When he found out that his wife, Shera, had a sex change

Shera: I DID NOT!

Cid: That's it I feel safer with Danielle...

Danielle: I OWE YOU SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly

Cid: WHAT THE FUCK?

Shera: I deny it!

Sephiroth: They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been one week since they had the fight

With the Flower Girl and the old girlfriend,

Five days since that awful brawl

They still haven't got the blood off the wall

It's been three days since the bitter feud

Between a ex SOLDIER and her own son!

Yesterday, finally dawned on me

I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jenova Springer

Reno (Guy Guest) : Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister

Elena (Gal Guest) : Oh? Well, which one?

Reno (Guy Guest) : All of them

Elena (Gal Guest) : Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Rude!

Rude: WHAT?

Reno (Guy Guest) : Yah? Well, well me too!

Rude: That's how those rumors get started...

Elena (Gal Guest) : Oh!

Reno (Guy Guest) : And I've sleepin' with your dog Nanaki!

Nanaki: (barking, laughing) Wait...

Elena (Gal Guest) : Nanaki, you bitch!

Elena (Gal Guest) : Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!(baaahhing)

Reno (Guy Guest) : That goat doesn't love you!

Sephiroth: Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'

Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'

Jenova's the queen of confrontation

She's a sensation

She puts the 'sin' in syndication

It's totally worthless,

like a bad check

It's like a train wreck

Don't wanna stare but you can't look away

Like the Turks she does talk shows

But with more weirdos

The ratings jumpin' higher everyday

If you've seen the show, well then you know

It's just as low as you can go

The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene, like Yuffie...

Yuffie: HEY!

Sephiroth: And pretty soon some ugly goon

Comes in the room and then it's BOOM

In the face of some unsuspecting drag queens, Rude!

Rude: What?

Sephiroth: Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities

Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies

Aeris: Sounds like me and Tifa fighting over Cloud again!

Sephiroth: "Jenova! Jenova!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant

Should I turn off my TV? I just can'tI have a tendency to watch it religiously

I have a history of taping each one

It's been one week since the show about

Psycho killers with problems they should work out

Five days since the big surprise, Like Yuffie... and

When some loser's wife said she's still dating twenty guys

Three days since she interviewed

A bunch of psychic 'heros' trying to kill Jenova!

Cloud: Hey, that's us!

Sephiroth: Yesterday, it occurred to me

That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jenova Springer

Tired of wastin' my time on that Jenova Springer

I've got way too much class to watch Jenova Springer

Fight over Cloud! Aeris, Yuffie and Tifa Fight!

Everyone gives Sephiroth evil stares and glares.

Sephiroth: after he sings last stanza what?

Beth: grabs her brother by the hair

Sephiroth: SIS! That's my HAIR!

Beth: That wasn't nice!

Vincent: stands up

Barret: takes aim

Beth: WAIT! Not while I am holding him! Drops him and dives for cover

Yuffie joins Beth behind the couch, Reno ducks in the sound booth, the other Turks hide under a table, Danielle hides behind Shera, who ducks down. Everyone hides.

Lots of shots ring out with Sephiroth's yell for help.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: Vincent's Reminder

Vincent: putting his gun away There... Now, may I sing something else?

Beth: nods Sure...

Everyone: comes out of hiding, resuming their drinking and chatting.

Vincent: Reno, start the What's my age again song...

Reno: Nods and starts the music

Vincent: This is the What's My Age Again? (the worst 7 days version)

I met her there, it was a Sunday night

I drank alot to get the feeling right

We started makin' out and she took off my pants

But then, I woke up next to her

And that's about the time she walked away from me

Nobody likes you when you act like me

And are still actin like you're 23

What the hell is ADD, my friends say I shouldn't act like this

What's my age again?

What's my age again?

Then later on, on the next day

I talked to Cloud on the front lawn

I said I was sorry but something happened there

Then he looked down on me sodomy

And that's about that he punched me

Nobody likes you when you act like me

And are still actin like you're 23

What the hell did I do then, my friends say I shouldn't act this way

What's my age again?

What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me

Nobody likes you when you act like me

And you still actin like you're 23

What the hell is wrong with me, my friends say I shouldn't act like this

What's my age again?

That's about the time that they all left me

No one should take themselves so seriously

With many years ahead to fall in line

Why would you wish that on me, I just want us to be friends

What's my age again?

Beth: 27!

Vincent: What's my age again?

Yuffie: 27!

Vincent: What's my age again...

All: YOUR 27!

Vincent: bows

Beth: Good!

Vincent: nods


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: The Ode to their favorite drink!

Beth: I think there should be another sing...

Reno: I know one!

Rude: BEER!

Beth: Yes, we have beer, over on the counter... points

Reno: No! The song!

Tseng: I will sing it with you guys...

Beth: walks over and starts the music for the Turks

Tseng: Oh...

Reno: what is the malted liquor?

What gets you drunken quicker?

What comes in bottles or in cans?

Rude: BEER!

Reno: Can't get enough of it

Rude: BEER!

Reno: How we really love it

Rude: BEER

Reno: Makes me think I'm a man

Rude: BEER

Reno: I could kiss and hug it

Rude: BEER

Reno: But I'd rather chug it

Rude: BEER

Reno: Got my belly up to here

Rude: BEER

Reno: I could not refuse a

Rude: BEER

Reno: I could really use a beer, beer, beer

Tseng: Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer

music slows

Reno: I can't remember how much I have had

I drank a twelve-pack with my dad

Rude: burps a little

Tseng: That's my son the drunken manly stud

I'm proud to be his bud

Here have some pretzels

Reno: No, I'll call it quits

Those things give me the shlits

Rude and Tseng: laugh

Reno: Drink with your family

Tseng: Drink it with your friends

Rude: Drink till your fat, stomach distends

Reno: Beer is liquid bread, it's good for you

Tseng: We like to drink till we spew!

Rude: Ew!

Reno: Who cares if we get fat?

Tseng: I'll drink to that

Rude: As we sing once more...

Reno: What is the malted liquor?

What gets you drunken quicker?

What comes in bottles or in cans?

Rude: BEER

Reno: Can't get enough of it

Rude: BEER

Reno: How we really love it

Rude: BEER

Reno: Makes me think I'm a man

Rude: BEER

Reno: I could kiss and hug it

Rude: BEER

Reno: But I'd rather chug it

Rude: BEER

Reno: Got my belly up to here

Rude: BEER

Reno: Golly, I adore it!

Rude: BEER

Tseng: Come on dammit, pour it!

Reno: Do it for me, brew it for me

Reno: Feed it to me, speed it to me

Rude: BEER

Tseng: The most wonderful drink in the world

All three guys: HOORAY! all three of them belch

Yuffie: laughing at the ear splitting burp that the three Turks did

Beth: Good one!

Aeris: Good...

Tifa: not bad!

Cloud: I like that!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen: Which Midgar Boy is GAY?

Beth: Hey Cloud, Cid, Vincent, Hojo, Sephiroth, uh... and... one, two three, four, five... and... how about... Reno? You guys sing this next one!

Cloud: okay

Sephiroth: Sure...

Reno: okay...

Vincent: nods

Hojo: Do I have to?

Beth: YES FATHER DAMN IT GET UP THERE AND SING A GODDAMN SONG BEFORE YOU DIE AGAIN! SEPHIROTH AND I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!

Hojo: sighs Fine.

Zak: Me too!

Beth: okay...

Reno: starts music to "I want it that way," By the Backstreet boys, then runs up on stage

Sephiroth: Yeahhh...

Vincent: We are on fire

Yuffie: casts Fire on Vincent YES YOU ARE!

Hojo: sourly We have desires

Zak: But one is that way

Reno: One Midgar Boy is gay

Cloud: But we don't want to be mean

Hojo: Since now he's a queen

Zak: Don't ask please

Cid: "Which Midgar Boy is gay?"

Cloud: Tell me who!

All others: Ain't sayin' that it's Vincent!

Beth: Better not be!

Vincent: shakes his head

Cloud: Tell me who!

All others: Ain't sayin' that it's Hojooooooooo- oh no!

Cloud: Tell me who!

Sephiroth: I never wanna hear you say "Which Midgar Boy is gay?"

Zak: Now I can see him

Reno: He's dressed in womens clothes

Cid: But he don't need an IUD, yeahhh

Cloud: He likes Village People

Zak: He's playing croquet

Sephiroth: His dog is a Pekinese

Cloud: He is on fire

Sephiroth: His back perspires

All guys: Won't say, won't say, won't say, WHO'S GAY!

Cloud: He's always saying:

Zak: Ain't nothin' but a butt-ache

Cid: Ain't nothin but a fruitcake

Sephiroth: I never wanna hear you say:

All: I never wanna here you say

Cloud: "Which one of us is gay?"

Cloud: Tell me who!

All others: Ain't saying that it's Cid!

Danielle: Better not be!

Shera: Damn straight!

they start to argue again

Cloud: Tell me who!

All others: Ain't saying Sephiroth!

Cloud: Tell me who!

Sephiroth: He's pickin up a soufflè

All: Which Midgar Boy is gay?

Ok, Cloud's GAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Cloud: HEY!

Beth: laughs

Reno: That was good!

Beth: nods


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen: Hey Vinny!

Yuffie: Hey! Beth, let's sing "Vinny," Beth!

Beth: Do we have to?

Reno: starts the music to Weird Al Yankovitch's "Ricky"

Vincent: More nightmares shall come to me...

Beth: Oh Vinny, you're so fine

You're so fine you blow my mind

Hey Vinny, hey Vinny

Yuffie: Oh Vinny, you're so fine

You're so fine you blow my mind

Hey Vinny, hey Vinny

Beth: Oh Vinny, you're so fine

You sit and mope all the time

Hey Vinny, hey Vinny

Yuffie: Oh Vinny, you're so fine

How I love to see you shine!

Hey Vinny!

Beth: Hey Vinny, You always moping over my mudda in the middle of the night,

Never getting over it, even though your right!

Stop whining and complaining and turn out the light, Vinny

Beth: I'm sick of Barret and the gang always comin' over here

'Cause Barret eats all our pretzel sticks and then Cid spills his beer

Why don't you serve your cassarole and make them disappear Yuffie?

Yuffie: Oh Vinny, what's a girl like me supposed to do

You really drive me wild when you sigh and mope too!

Beth: Oh Yuffie, you're so dizzy, don't you have a clue

Well, here's to you Vinny!

Yuffie: I love you too Vinny, too Vinny, let's go screw Vinny

Beth: Growls

Yuffie: Hey Vinny

Beth: You're always chasing Sephiroth, you never let me go

I'm beggin' and I'm pleadin' but you always tell me no

Oh, please honey please, let me go, Vinny!

Yuffie: You are always so quiet Vinny, you know I treat you right,

I will keep you company, mainly in the night.

You're such a handsome fellow, let's go out tonight, Vinny!

Beth: Oh Vinny

What a pity, don't you understand

That every day we save the world and the plots always bland

Oh Vinny

Vincent: I'm the former leader of the Turks

Yuffie: So here's to you Vinny

Beth: Let's drink to you Vinny, you Vinny!

Cloud: looks at the crazy man behind the keyboard That was...

Beth: holds up an eraser

Cloud: GREAT!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen: Holy...

Yuffie: Next up should be... Rufus singing!

Reno: evil smile I know just the one to... here, you go sir!

Rufus: walks up onto the stage, then starts singing

I ain't happy, I'm feeling mad

I got Holy, in a bag

It's useless, but not for long

The Meteor is coming on

I ain't happy, I'm feeling mad

I got Holy, in a bag

It's useless, but not for long

The Metoer is coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

Yeah... Ha Ha!

Finally someone let me out of my cage

Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age

Now she shouldn't be here

Now you ought to be scared

I'm good at despair

And you're under mu snare

Intangible

Bet you didn't think so I command you to

Panoramic view

Look I'll make it all manageable

Stab and choose

Stab and lose

All you different crews

Chicks and dudes

Who you think is really kickin' tunes?

Picture you dying in a hollow tube

Like you lit the fuse

You think it's Final Fantasy,

Mystical? Maybe

Spiritual?

Hearable

What appears in you is a clearer view cause you're too crazy

Lifeless

To know the definition for what life is

Useless

For you because you don't exist

You like it?

Guns smokin' righteous with one final stroke

Cetra among those

Possess you with one go

I ain't happy, I'm feeling mad

I got Holy, in a bag

It's useless, but not for long

The Meteor is coming on

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad

I got Holy, in a bag

It's useless, but not for long

The Meteor is coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

The essence the Mako

Without it you make,

Allow me to take,

A child, like in nature

Rhythm

You have it or you don't that's a fallacy

It's in them

Every sprouting tree

Every child apiece

Every Cloud you see points to Cloud

You see with your eyes

I see destruction and demise

Corruption in disguise

From this fuckin' enterprise

Now they're sucking to my lies

Through Cloud, though not his muscles but the percussion he provides

with me as a guide

But y'all can't see me now cuz you don't look in his eyes

You perceive with your mind

That's the inner

So I'm gonna stick around with Rufus and be a mentor

With a few rhymes so mother fuckers

Remember where the thought is

I brought all this

So you can survive when law is lawless

Feelings, sensations, you I was dead,

No squealing, remember

that it's all in your head

I ain't happy, I'm feeling mad

I got Holy, in a bag

It's useless, but not for long

The Metoer is coming on

I ain't happy, I'm feeling mad

I got Holy, in a bag

It's useless, but not for long

The Metoer is coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

The Turks all clap for the boss.

Rufus: bows

Beth: He remembered all the words!

Yuffie: Wow!

Beth: Aeris?

Aeris: I liked it...

Rufus: grumbles and sits down


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen: Another One bites the Dust!

Sephiroth: I want to sing another one!

Beth: Oh? You do?

Sephiroth: Yes! I want to sing "Another one bites the dust!" By Queen!

Reno: flips through and finds the disc

Sephiroth: singing Ooh, let's go

Cloud walks warily down the street

With the brim pulled way down low

Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet

Machine guns ready to go

Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this

Are you hangin' on the edge of your seat

Out of the doorway the bullets rip

To the sound of the beat - yeah

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone and another one gone

Another one bites the dust, eh

Hey, I'm gonna get you too Points to Beth

Another one bites the dust

How do you think I'm going to get along

Without you when you're gone

You took me for everything that I had

And kicked me out on my own

Are you happy ? Are you satisfied ?

How long can you stand the heat

Out of the doorway the bullets rip

To the sound of the beat

Look out

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone and another one gone

Another one bites the dust, eh

Hey, I'm gonna get you too points to Vincent

Another one bites the dust

Hey

Oh take it

Bites the dust

bite the dust hey

Hey

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust, ow

Another one bites the dust, hey hey

Another one bites the dust, heeey-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy

Ooh show down

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man

And bring him to the ground

You can beat him

You can cheat him

You can treat him bad and leave him

When he's down, yeah

But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you

I'm standing on my own two feet

Out of the doorway the bullets rip

Repeating to the sound of the beat

Oh yeah

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone and another one gone

Another one bites the dust, yeah

Hey, I'm gonna get you too points around the room

Another one bites the dust

Shoot out

Hey, alright

Beth: Er... nice... one.

Aeris: Note to self, get revenge on Sephiroth...

Tifa: laughs

Yuffie: giggles

Sephiroth: I hate you guys so much!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen:

Yuffie: Hojo should sing one!

Sephiroth: looks at his father Sure.

Hojo: straightens his lab coat Sure... fine...

Reno: starts the music to Brittney Spear's "Hit me baby one more time"

Hojo: Oh Vincent Vincent

Oh Vincent, Vincent, Ahh.

Oh Vincent, Vincent, Yeah.

Oh Vincent, Vincent, I should have cut off both arms, To punish you for your crimes.

Oh Vincent, Vincent, And hid the basement key better, So Cloud Strife couldn't find you.

You tried to interfere with me, So I am very angry,

Now I'm gonna experiment on you.

I'm gonna chop your right arm off,

Then I'll, I'm gonna give you another metal claw, Metal claw.

You should have been smart and kept your mouth shut,

You never should have interfered, With me, my wife and Sephiroth.

Vincent: wincing

Beth: AND ME!

Oh Vincent, Vincent, I thought you were smart enough,

To have stayed quiet.

Oh Vincent, Vincent, You never should argued about what I was doing,

To my wife and my son.

Beth: AND DAUGHTER TOO!

You tried to interfere with me, So I am very angry, Now I'm gonna experiment on you.

I'm gonna chop your right arm off, Then I'll, I'm gonna give you another metal claw, Metal claw.

You should have been smart and kept your mouth shut,

You never should have interfered, With me, my wife and Sephiroth.

Oh Vincent, Vincent. Ahh.

Oh Vincent, Vincent. Yeah

Oh Vincent, Vincent,

I should have cut off both arms.

Oh Vincent, Vincent, And hid the basement key better.

You were a turk. You can't understand, The fact that I had to sacrifice,

My wife and child for science, But you still interfered, What a big mistake that was,

For you to have done what you did.

I'm gonna chop your right arm off, Then I'll, I'm gonna give you another metal claw, Metal claw.

You should have been smart and kept your mouth shut,

You never should have interfered, With me, my wife and Sephiroth.

I'm gonna chop your right arm off, Then I'll, I'm gonna give you another metal claw, Metal claw.

You should have been smart and kept your mouth shut,

You never should have interfered, With me, my wife and Sephiroth.

Beth: glares at Hojo Thanks... that was...er...

Vincent: Frightening! TERRIFYING! Throw him back in his cage!

Sephiroth: Grabs him and throws him in a cage There.

Aeris: Did anyone else imagine Hojo wearing a school uniform with pigtails and a skirt?

everyone laughs


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty: Yuffie's World!

Yuffie: I want to sing again! It's my toy!

Beth: All yours!

Yuffie: This is a parody of Aqua's Barbie Girl!

Reno: hits the play button, talking his part Hey, Yuffie.

Yuffie: Hey, Reno.

Reno: You wanna go for a ride?

Yuffie: Fine.

Reno: Then jump in.

Yuffie: From Wutai, it's no lie, I am a ninja babe

I can steal, with appeal, and can be quite a rave

Lord Godo, says, "No-no.", it's time to hightail it fast

Here comes Rapps, set the traps, for ol' Corneo

Sephiroth, is so wrought, let's kick his butt to Midgar

Sephiroth: Pardon? finishes locking up Hojo's cage

Yuffie: I am a Yuffie Girl, in my Yuffie world

Straight from Wutai, I am on high

Training at Da-chao, I'll slice you quickand how!

It's devistation, with my All Creation

Reno: Come on, Yuffie, let's go party

Yuffie: Ah, ah, ah, yay

Reno: Come on, Yuffie, let's go party

Yuffie: Oooo, oooo, oooo

Reno: Come on, Yuffie, let's go party

Yuffie: Ah, ah, ah, yay

Reno: Come on, Yuffie, let's go party

Yuffie: Oooo, oooo, oooo

Yuffie: Poor Cloud Strifewhat a life, dating two lovely gals

If I could, then I would, date one of his guy pals

I'd love them, then leave them, riding a Chocobo

Reno boy, you're my toy, when we rip off Hojo

Get our fill, with some Gil, with our materia

Then we'll dine, so devine, at the cafeteria

I am a Yuffie Girl, in my Yuffie world

Straight from Wutai, I am on high

Training at Da-chao, I'll slice you quickand how!

It's devistation, with my All Creation

I am a Yuffie Girl, in my Yuffie world

Straight from Wutai, I am on high

Training at Da-chao, I'll slice you quickand how!

It's devistation, with my All Creation

spoken Oh, I am having so much fun!

Reno: Well, Yuffie, we're just getting started

Yuffie: Oh, I love you, Renand your materia

silence

Beth: Thank you, that was... erie...


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One: The Real Cid Highwind

Danielle: I want to sing too!

Shera: Cid, let's do one now! Please!

Cid: Fine... no more gay songs

Shera: Promise, this one is cool

Reno: Not another "Slim Shady" Parody? Sighs and hits the play button

Shera: May I have your attention, please?

May I have your attention, please?

Will the real Cid Highwind please stand up? sighs

Will the real Cid Highwind please stand up?

Cid: stands up, flips everyone off

Shera: to the rest of the people...We're going to have a problem here.

Cid: Shit, ya'll act like you ain't never seen a badass pilot before

Jaws drop on the floor

Like Cloud and Aeris just bust through the door

And started whoopin' his ass Points to Sephiroth Worse than before

With much more force

Throwin' him over furniture

Tifa: Ack!

Cid: I'm the baddest fucker

Yuffie: Uh, no way, are you kidding?

He didn't just say what I think he did,

Did he?

Cid: And Sephiroth says

Nothing, you dumbasses!

Sephiroth's dead!

He's locked in my airship!

Cloud: Ha ha!

Sephiroth: I am?

Cid: Those Shinra bitches luv da cap'n

Elena: Moogle!Moogle!Moogle!

Heidegger: Cid Highwind, I'm sick of him

Look at him

Flying around

Smoking his you-know-what

Flipping his you-know-who

Scarlet: Yeah, but he's so rugged though!

Cid: Yeah, I'm probably gonna die of cancer

But it's not like that's new

And it's no worse

Than what goes on in Tifa's bedroom!

Tifa: I'm so pretty...

Cid: Sometimes I wanna piss off Cloud

And let hell broke loose

And can't

But it's cool for Hojo

To prance around like a frickin' goose!

Hojo: BEG YOUR PARDON?

Cloud: His laugh is frickin' lame

And his clothes put me to shame

And if I'm lucky

I'll kill him by the end of this frickin' game

Red XIII: And this is the message

That we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to notice

All those thongs in FFX

Cid: Of course they gonna know what blood and gore is!

By the time they hit 4th grade

They've got all the Mortal Kombats, don't they?

We ain't nuthin' but dumb jerks looks at Vincent

Well, some of us are ex-Turks

Vincent: HEY!

Cid: Whose claws turn obsessive fangirls into bratwurst

Beth: dreamy sigh

Cid: But if we can hunt down Sephiroth

While listening to rock

Then there's no reason that Cait Sith should even be brought

But if ya feel like I feel

I got the antidote

Roll a joint and smoke it up

Sing the chorus

Sephiroth: And it goes!

Cid and Shera and Danielle: He's Cid HighwindYes, he's da real shit

And all you other Cids

Just ain't as bad as him

So won't the real Cid Highwind

Please stand up?

Please stand up?

Please stand up?

He's Cid Highwind

Yes, he's da real shit

And all you other Cids

Just ain't as bad as him

So won't the real Cid Highwind

Please stand up?

Please stand up?

Please stand up?

Shera: thank you dear...

Danielle: Thank you Cid!

Beth: that was good.

Aeris: that was funny.

Sephiroth: That was scary!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two: Another Cloud fight song?

Beth: Okay, now who should sing?

Tifa: How about another Fight over Cloud song?

Beth: Again?

Aeris: Yes, this one is "Cloud Strife is Mine!"

Tifa: grumbles

Reno: drinking a beer, hits the play button

Tifa: starts to singYou need to give it up.

Had about enough.

It's not hard to see,Cloud Strife is MINE!

Aeris: I think it's time we got this straight,

let's sit and talk face to face.

The only reason he liked you,

Was cause he got Mako Poisoning you fool!

Tifa: See I know that you may be

just a bit jealous of me.

Because unlike you I'm still awake

And your corpse rots beneath a lake!

Aeris: See I tried to hesitate,

I didn't want to say what he told me.

But now I am going to,

Because I've had enough of you,

He said you were the slum drunk,

So your chance with him is sunk!

Tifa: And maybe you misunderstood,

'Cause I can't see how he could

Wanna get with a flower lady

When he's got a classy chick like me

You need to give it up.

Had about enough.

It's not hard to see,

Cloud Strife is MINE!

I'm sorry that you

seem to be confused.

He belongs to me

Cloud Strife is MINE!

Tifa: Must you do the things you do

Keep on acting like a fool

You tried to stop Sephiroth, he's mad

And you ended up getting stabbed

Aeris: I think that you should realize,

And try to understand why

I did it all for Cloud Strife

And YOU would never give your life!

Tifa: You can say what you wanna say.

What we have you can't take.

You gave your life and your still giving

Cause you keep pissin off the living!

Aeris: When will you get the picture.

You're the past, I'm the future

Someday I will resurrect

And only then will you regret!

Tifa: You can't destroy this love I've found

Your silly games I won't allow

You need to accept the truth you fart

Cloud was mine from the start!

Aeris: What makes you think that he wants you,

Your ugly with bad breath too

I'm the one who went on the date

At the Gold Saucer, you were too late!

Aeris: He belongs to me

Tifa: The boy is mine, not yours

Aeris: But mine!

Tifa: Not yours!

Aeris: But mine!

Tifa: Not yours!

Aeris: But mine!

Yuffie: I'm sorry that you two

seem to be confused.

He belongs to me

Cloud Strife is MINE!

Beth: these get old really, really fast... nobody reads past this part! If someone can tell me the name of the next song in a review, I will give them a cookie! Giggle

Vincent: What in the world are you talking about, or to?

Beth: Nevermind... uh, next song!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three: Marlene is such a kidder!

Marlene: I know another one!

Beth: Go ahead sweetie... sing!

Marlene: I am going to sing a parody of "Rudolf the red nosed reigndeer"

Rude: This can't turn out good...

Marlene: Rude the Shiny-headed Turkiee

Had a very shiny head!

And if you ever saw it,

You would even think it's lead!

Now all the other Turkiees

Used to laugh and call him names!

They never let poor Ruu-de

Join in any killing games!

Now one foggy Midgar night,

Shinra came to say

Rude with your shiny head,

Blind out enemies 'til they're dead!

Then how the Turkiees loathed him

As they shouted with profanity,

Rude the Shiny-headed Turkiee,

You'll get in our killing tree!

Tseng, Elena, Reno, Rufus and all the others except for Rude laughed until they cried.

Rude: That's not funny!

Barret: Oh, come on, she's just a little girl!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four: Don da Pimp

Don Corneo: I want to sing! walking in

Beth: FINE! I have just the song for you!

Reno: starts to fall asleep on play button parody... of... Puddle...of... mudd, snore

Beth: Yuffie, you wake her up!

Yuffie: With pleasure!

Don: Can you pimp it all away

Can you pimp it all away

Don's got a big fat face

Come on and eat with me again

Can you pimp it all away

Can you pimp it all away

Don's got a big fat face

Everything's so corny

And everyone's so thin

And everybody's empty

And everything just hollow within

I cannot live without you

I really need my food

I need to be a pimp dog

But I'm too fat and crude!

You could be my Aps

You could be my beast

You know that I'll just slam you

And shield you from the feast

I wonder what your thinking

Imagine what you eat

There's rats in them thar sewers

With stinky little feet!

Everyone is farting

There's no one left that's clean

To make up all the ponies

I seems like all a dream

I think I'm getting fat

I cannot move at all

I think I need room service

I crumple and I roll

But you could be my helper

You could be friend

You know that I will shun you

You can't win in the end!

I wonder what your hair is

I wonder if it's gel

It looks like cotton candy

Or chocolate caramel

Nobody told me you were male

Nobody told me you were mean

Nobody told me you had swords!

Wanna have some chocolate cake?

Nobody told me you were a rebel!

Nobody knew that there's stuff on your head

Everybody told you what to say!

Showed you a good time today!

Come on and eat with me again

That's cruel all again

That's cruel all again

Come on and eat with me again

That's cruel all again

Come on and eat with me again

That's cruel, yeah

Come eat again...

Yuffie: giggling That's about CLOUD!

Cloud: Is not!

Beth: thank you... I think...

Don: That is SO friggin' gay! Storms out

Beth: fine, be that way, NEXT!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five: Sephy's dad!

Vincent:Hey... I want to sing one!

Reno: No, I have one!

Sephiroth: I want to sing one!

The three of them get into a big fight

Beth: BOYS! No more fighting! Vincent first, then Reno, then... grumbles we will go on from there...

Vincent: "Let it be, my man... that's the song!

Reno: hits the button

Vincent: When I find myself inside a coffin

Professor Hojo comes to me

Come to wake me up, let me sleep.

And in my hour of darkness

He is standing right in front of me

Come to renew the torture, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep.

Please don't wake me up, let me sleep.

And when the cruel hearted demons

In my dream world torture me,

There will be an answer, let me sleep.

For though we may be parted there is

Still a sin I must atone

There will be an answer, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep.

It's always the same answer, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep.

Please don't wake me up, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, yeah let me sleep.

Please don't wake me up, let me sleep.

And when my soul is cloudy,

There is not a light that shines on me,

Dream on until tomorrow, let me sleep.

I wake up to the sound of voices

Cloud and Tifa come to me

Come to wake me up, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, yeah let me sleep.

It's always the same answer, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, yeah let me sleep.

It's always the same answer, let me sleep.

Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep, yeah let me sleep.

Please don't wake me up, let me sleep.

Beth: great, another moping song of yours! grumbles

Yuri: as if appearing for the first time I want to sing one! About HOJO!

Hojo: I have a fan girl? WHERE!

Beth: Okay, do you have one you want to sing?

Yuri: YES! Sephy's dad!

Reno: A parody of 'Fountains of Wayne's' song... Stacy's Mom, right?

Yuri: YES!

Reno: shuffles through the discs and plays the song

Yuri: sweetly Sephy's dad is really, really rad,

Sephy's dad is really, really rad.

Sephy, can I come over after school? After School?

We can hang around by the local pool. The local pool

Did your dad get back from his business trip? Business trip

Is he there, or is he trying to give me the slip? Give me the slip

You know I'm not the little girl that I used to be,

I'm all grown up now, honey can't you see?

Sephy's dad, is really, really rad

He's all I want or will ever have.

Sephy can't you see? You're just not the guy for me.

I know it's really sad but I'm in love with Sephy's dad.

Sephy's dad is really, really rad,

Sephy's dad is really, really rad.

Sephy do you remember when I weeded your lawn? Weeded your lawn

Your dad came out, with just his boxers on. Boxers on

Vincent: UGH!

Yuri: I can tell he like me by the way he stared. Way he stared

And the way he said, "Get that damn monster out of there!" Monster out of there

And I know you think it's just a fantasy,

But since your mom is gone your dad can use a girl like me.

Sephy's dad, is really, really rad

He's all I want or will ever have.

Sephy can't you see?

You're just not the guy for me.

I know it's really sad but I'm in love with Sephy's dad.

Sephy's dad, is really, really rad

He's all I want or will ever have.

Sephy can't you see?

You're just not the guy for me.

I know it's really sad but I'm in love with Sephy's dad. bows, looks around I'm going to leave leaves

Hojo: tries to follow her WAIT! YOU MAY BE ONE OF MY ONLY FANS!

Sephiroth: grabs him and throws him in the cage again

Reno: sighs what I have to put up with for a good beer...


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six: "What it feels like for a Turk."

Elena: My turn!

Beth: okay, are you sober?

Elena: Is Reno a natural Red head?

Everyone:...

Elena: I AM SOBER!

Reno: opens his shorts and looks down pants Yes, I am naturally THIS red... Starts music for Madonna's "What it feels like for a girl

Elena: Shinra HQ,

White as candy, baby

White as Rufus...

Skin that shows in Heidigger's big chez

It's so strong you'd never know it

Good little nugget never shows it

When he opens up his crack to speak

All the future looks so bleak...

Do you know what it feels like

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like in this world

for a Turk?

Shotguns that twirl on the prez that's bending

All Reno's booze glands are relenting

Reno: Am! hic NOT!

Elena: I am just a fe-male Turk

And Rude won't know, stuck-up, je-erk

Rude: Beg your pardon?

Elena: When you're falling flat on new cleaned floors

Could that Reno slam the doors?

Do you know what it feels like

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like in this world

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like in this world

for a Turk?

It's so strong you'd never know it

Good little nugget never shows it

When he opens up his crack to speak

All the future looks so bleak...

Do you know what it feels like

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like in this world

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like

for a Turk?

Do you know what it feels like in this world

for a Turk?

In this world

Do you know?

Do you know?

Do you know what it feels like

for a Turk?

What it feels like in this world

Rude: glares at Elena

Reno: Stuck-up?

Elena: Yes, now shut up and have some more beer!

Beth: Er...thanks?


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven: Just Killin'

Cloud: Here is one, I think it's called "Killin?"

Sephiroth: Do that with you, Cloud boy!

Cloud: okay!

Reno: But we already did a parody of "Rollin'" hits play again

Sephiroth: Play the fuckin' track!

Play the fuckin' track!

Oh there it is... music starts

Rufus Shinra, Daddy Shinra, that's right ya'll, Sephiroth

We just keep on killin' baby

Are you ready?

Cloud: Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands down

Back up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands down

Back up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Sephiroth: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Cloud: Uggh

Sephiroth: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Cloud: What?

Sephiroth: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Cloud: Now I know ya'll be lovin this killin' shit right here

S.E.P.H.I.R.O.T.H the one winged angel is right here

People in the house put them hands in the air!

Cuz if you don't care, then we don't care

See, Rufus ain't givin' a fuck

Sephiroth: If his daddy gives a fuck about him

Cloud: Sephiroth is untouchable, branded unfuckable

Sephiroth: So keep Red Xlll in his cage this time Hojo

And until Palmer doesn't run his mouth

Then Cloud might have to come in and kill

Cloud: And Scarlet may have to break the fuck out

And then Shinra will have to see who's left

After one round with X

And who is Sephy bringin' next?

Cloud: Just know it's Red and Meth

So where the fuck you at Sephiroth?

Rufus, shut the fuck up

And back the fuck up

While Shinra and Sephiroth fuck this world up!

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: Uggh

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: What?

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: Oh what, ya'll thought Shinra was gonna promote Scarlet?

Check Barret's dangerous slang

Cid's language is atrocious

When Tifa lets her's hang

All the men start to focus

It's wutang

Cloud: What the fuck's a Prod Clod?

Sephiroth: I wave my black flag at the Roaches

Who approach us

These twin mako made guys

Who have large swords for weapons

Too late to save Zach now Cloud

Cloud: That Shinra SOLDIER stepped up and blew 'im out

So what?

Cid drinks and cusses too much

Cid: FUCK YEAH!

Cloud: So what?

Sephy cuts things up too much?

Sephiroth: Now when Shinra and Sephy kill

You motherfuckin' rebels turn in yo materia

Cause for the promised land

Rufus is jackin' up some limos for the rest o' Shinra ta use

Now AVALANCHE ain't got nothin' but bullets

And they ain't gonna un-button their clothes

They just shove a yellow mellow tissue up Rufus' nose

You bitches

Sephiroth: Swing the vine on the bad boom nuts

I'm as hairy as hell

Ahh to hell

And tattooed up

Scarlet's just like a female dog

We can't even piss in a bathroom, what?

In highschool Rufus only dealt with the classroom sluts

Cloud: Rufus' real name is Johnny Donny Brascoe

Rufus: How did he know?

Sephiroth: Talk to employees of Shinra like they were trash

And he's gonna cut their cash flow

Cloud: Yell if ya want money

Sephiroth: Funny how they ain't gonna not get anything

Dark hard green backs

As Sephy will just mash bodies in the mosh pit

Yo, and Rufus is the D.O

You're lookin' at the One Wigned Angel Sephiroth points to himself

Cloud: pointing to Sephiroth On Friday he saw AVALANCHE

He sliced them up for five to fourty minutes

Sephiroth:While Barret just stunk up the bathroom

Like Craig Paul was in it

Barret: Wha' wit dis shit?

Cloud: Sephy will just end up runnin' a sword through your back

Who thinks Tifa's a whore?

No one can match Sephy

He'll just end up in the Guiness

FUCK, how many SOLDIER'S are playas?

Sephiroth: A ball is in it

Brick city, Midgar

Better call 'em sinners there

Bunch o' black that'll run up from the slums

White mall and spill it

Cloud: Yo, peace and come on!

Sephiroth: Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands downBack up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands down

Back up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: Uggh

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: What?

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: Uggh

Cloud: It just don't get no darker then the slums

Sephiroth: Kid with the sword

Go ahead and stab him

And uses materia to make a spark

Now, Barret's a fair (author is not going to use the word that was here)

No one's quicker then his gun arm trigger

Took himself to be dead

No, he was just fucked up in the head

Cloud: Yo man, Sephy's just tryin' to hold his breath

No, it's not just in your head

Sephiroth: Cause Rufus will already be shiting on himself

Cause Palmer's already dead

And at his funeral you won't need a casket

Barret's leavin' soon enough

For Shinra to stuff their basket

But Aeris' skippin'

Task it

Cloud: Rufus will need his ass kickedHis mom never let him forget

That he's never gonna be a piece of shit

There ain't gonna be no shit

That's why he takes Scarlet's shit

But if he'll see shit

And to their D shit

D sharp

Sephiroth: Rufus will do what he wants to do

And right here in front of you

Cloud: And Sephy will be running you

Wait up damn, Barret needs to catch up

Sephiroth: Yeah, that (author refuses to use the word originally here) ain't running a fucking thing

Cloud:But his mouth

Sephiroth: Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands downBack up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands down

Back up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: Uggh

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: What?

Cloud: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Sephiroth: Uggh

Sephiroth: You wanna mess with Sephiroth?

Cloud: Hell yeah!

Sephiroth: You can't mess with Sephiroth

Cloud: Why?

Sephiroth: Because he keeps killin'

Cloud: Yeah

Sephiroth: Every day and every night

Cloud: Yeah

Sephiroth: See this Masamune right here?

Cloud: Uh huh

Well Sephy is killin' all the time

Sephiroth: So you better get some better weapons

And uh, get some better pieces of materia

Cloud: D'oh!

Sephiroth: And if you reall really wanna get this killin' started

Then people everywhere just get retarded

Get retarded!People everywhere just get retarded!

Cloud: Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands down

Back up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Move in, now move out

Hands up, now hands down

Back up, Back up

Tell me who ya gonna kill now!

Sephiroth: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Cloud: Uggh

Sephiroth: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Cloud: What?

Sephiroth: Keep killin', killin', killin', killin'

Cloud: Uggh

Sephiroth: That's right baby!

Cloud: Rufus Shinra

Daddy Shinra

Shinra

Sephy

Sephiroth: Swizz beats

Cloud: Where the fuck you at Sephy?

Punk that shit!

Yuffie: That will give me nightmares for ever...

Beth: You said that!

Aeris: Someone get me out of here...

Rude: You're telling me.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight: Funny

Beth: Let Rude and Reno sing one!

Elena: Me TOO!

Cid: Stands up and walks over to hit the play button

Reno and Rude :We're men, We're men in blue. We go around the streets looking for you.

We're men, We're men in blu-ooooooooo.

Elena : And me.

Reno and Rude : We murder, we steal and even kidnap you!

We may look like sissies,

Elena : They are.

Reno and Rude : But watch what you say, Or else we'll come after you.

Oh, We're men. We're men in blue.

Elena : And me.

Reno and Rude : Always on guard defending Shinra HQ.

Elena : More like the bar.

Reno and Rude link arms and start to do the Can Can

Reno and Rude : La la la la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la

Elena: stands in front of them, doing the can-can too La la la la la la la

Reno and Rude : La la la la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la la

Stop doing the Can Can and try to act manly

Reno and Rude : We're men, Manly men. We're men in blue.

Elena : And me.

Reno and Rude : We go around the streets looking for you.

Yes, We're men, We're men in blue.

Elena : And me.

Reno and Rude : We murder, we steal and even kidnap you.

We may look like pansies.

Elena : They are.

Reno and Rude : But watch what you say, Or else we'll come after you.

We're men. We're men in blue.

Elena : And me.

Reno and Rude : Always on guard defending Shinra HQ. We're butch.

Elena: bows

Yuffie: That was good.

Beth: laughing


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine: Sephiroth Paridise

Sephiroth: MY TURN!hits button on player for "Amish Paridise" Parody Ahem...

As I walk through the tendrils of the Northern Crater

I look to see if I can get out later

I go all wacky everytime a fly comes out

So you'll know my spaz when Yuffie smacked me with a trout

I'm fightin' these Gargoyles, boy they are wierd

Before I chip off the rock, I've grown a beard

Heck, I don't want that to happen!

Yuffie'll start pullin' it when I'm nappin'!

Why does Seph have to hole up here? points to his head

It smells like fish and trash and beer!

But when we get to the bottom and we get to that dude

I'm gonna smack him with my giant 'tude!

We've been spending most our lives

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

I've been killin' Magic Pots

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

Been stompin' Gargoyles

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

Been whooping mover butt

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

After making it down through the spiral place

I kicked butt of a dragon and ran the race!

I met up with a Master Tonberry

So I whooped his butt and I was merry

Of course I did it with Knights of Round

What a powerful summon, it's so profound!

And again I fought one and morphed his rear

It was a Ribbon, my 32nd-oh dear!

He said "If you dare to touch my star"

I'll turn you face into a giant mar"

Did I listen though? Not a chance?

I killed him and did a vic-tree dance

There's no stores, no shops, no grand bazaars,

Not a single thing to buy

Like Sephiroth Caruso

It's as far-fetched as can be

We've been spending most our lives

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

Got no time for beer and wives

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

There's no time for power games

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

Can be so fun, can be so lames

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

Kickin' all the movers, bootin' all the M Pots

Blastin' all the losers, Havin' fun-oh yes, lots!

Think Seph is so darn great? Think Seph's got mad skills?

Well, I'm one to know he ain't givin' me chills

He's what's called "A farmer in the Dell"

Well after we whoop him and bust im', he's off ta hell!

So don't mess up and don't be a clone

Or else, poor Sephy, I will make you into Sephy ala Blown

We've been spending most our lives

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

We've got carzy Sephy-vibes

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

No Weapons here or there

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

But you'll see red marks everywhere

Living in a Seph Clone Paradise

Ah oh oh oh, oh oh oh.

Ah oh oh oh, oh oh CLONE!

Beth: sourly Thanks...yet again, brother dearest...

Sephiroth: You're very welcome!


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty: The ultimate song

Beth: I have one more tribute to you all I would LOVE to sing!

Reno: Okay, presses play for 'My Everything

Beth: The loneliness of nights alone

For a game to call my own

Every other seemed to die

The "Game Over" sign just made me cry

Final Fantasy VII came to me

In a scenic vivid dream

No Rainy clouds around me now

With the player's guide to show me how

You are my favorite game

Nothing is quite the same

Final Fantasy by my side

Right past where Aeris died tears up

A sword stuck down her back

From the evil man in black glares at Sephiroth

Every night I pray

On bended knee

That this game will always be

My favorite game

Now what I saw within my dream

Is going to be reality

We're on the way to the store

To buy the game and nothing more

As we walk down to Babbages

I see the game in clear packages

And as I buy it I won't let it go

Because I will always know

You are my favorite game

Nothing is quite the same

Final Fantasy by my side

Right past where Aeris died tears up again

A sword stuck down her back

From the evil man in black glares at Sephiroth again

Every night I pray

On bended knee

That this game will always be

My favorite game

You're the breath of life in me

That exercises my thumbs freely

And you have made my soul complete

This game this game

You are my favorite game you are my favorite game

Nothing is quite the same nothing is quite the same

Final Fantasy by my side my side

Right past where Aeris died

A sword stuck down her back a sword stuck down her back

From the evil man in black from the evil man in black

Every night I pray I pray

On bended knee on my knee

That this game will always be

My favorite game

You are my favorite game

Nothing is quite the same

Final Fantasy by my side

Right past where Aeris died

A sword stuck down her back

From the evil man in black

Every night I pray

On bended knee

That this game will always be

My favorite game

almost spoken

Every night I pray

Down on bended knee

That this game will always be

My favorite game Oh my favorite game

Cloud: crying That... is so pretty...

Aeris: sobbing That was beautiful...

Sephiroth: That was mean...

Beth: You are the bad guy!

Yuffie: I think the winner of our contest is...

Beth: Marlene!

Everyone claps and cheers.

Marlene: Thank you!

Barret: Now, up to bed you go!

Beth: smiles

Rude: still singing the song 'beer' drunk

Sephiroth: Well, we have to get going now! This was fun!

Reno: Yes, we should be going to! Rude, Tseng, Rookie!

Elena: I AM NOT A ROOKIE!

Rufus: Come on Scarlet

Hojo: I must be goin–

Beth: looks at Sephiroth Brother! He is trying to get away!

Sephiroth: grabs Hojo by the back of his lab coat NO! Back in your cage! Throws Hojo in a cage and slams the door

Hojo: lands on his head, against the side of the cage

Beth: make sure you take him this time, last time he yelled all night when you forgot him.

Nanaki: Yes... he kept banging that little cup against the bars all night.

Sephiroth: takes the large cage and glances at his sister Thank you for inviting us to this party! He carried the cage out of the house and disappears

Reno: now feeling the alcohol Purdy! Purdy, purdy... purdy! staring at Elena Your sooooooooo purty!

Elena: sighs I knew that this was a bad idea... Dragging Rude out of the house

Rude: out cold, so drunk

Reno: follows Elena out of the house Purdy gurls! All thirty of yous! Are you all related?

Beth: calls after Elena You are driving, Right Elena?

Elena: opening trunk Yes. Throws Rude in the trunk, then grabbed Reno and stuffed him in the trunk as well Fear not, and don't worry, slams the trunk and dusts her hands off and gets in the buggy

Beth waved as Elena drove off out of sight.

Cid: smoking a cigarette Yep, what a night...

Beth: Danielle? Where is Shera?

Danielle: I don't know... she must have stepped out for a while...

flash of Shera duck taped upside down on the wall in the basement

Rufus: nods Shall we go?

Scarlet: After you, sir.

Beth: thank you for coming... Iopens the door, which leads right into the bowels of hell

Vincent: glances at her Not that magic...

Rufus, Heidegger, Palmer and Scarlet fall in, screaming...

Vincent: grumbles Magic door...

Beth: nods

Vincent: sighs I am going to bed...

Cid: stands up Danielle and I are going to go home too...

Nanaki: laying besides Kukarui, who was asleep Goodnight guys.

Beth: nods and smiles

Tifa: Come on Cloud... let's go home.

Aeris: grabs the drunk Zak and throws him over her shoulder We should be going too, it's a long way to Midgar.

Beth: nodded and held the door open for Aeris thank you guys for coming.

Cloud: grumbling Okay... leaves, following after Tifa I still don't know why you two had to sing those song...

Tifa: Hey, you wanted us to sing it... They walk off to the Tiny Bronco

Beth glanced around the room, seeing just Nanaki and Kukauri laying there asleep by the fire. Barret was up in his room with Marlene, Vincent had gone to bed and everyone else had left.

Beth sighed and headed upstairs, humming the entire time, as she walked down the stairs to Vincent's and her room, singing;

"Girls just want to have fun... oh... girls, they just want to have fun..." She remembered earlier. "VINCENT VALENTINE! ABOUT THOSE UNDERPANTS FROM CHAPTER THREE!" She ran downstairs.

_A.N. Not too shabby, is it? I revised it for your poor little eyes._

_Vincent: Why the hell did you smack me?_

_Beth: For using my underwear for your solo drag queen song!_

_Danielle: Really woman, what the fuck is wrong with you?_

_Beth: Pardon?_

_Danielle: I wasn't in there much._

_Beth: Sure, You were, there are so many people to keep track of..._

_Vincent: Give her that credit._

_Beth: Now, onwards and upwards!_


End file.
